Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain spent $1.22 million last year renovating his predecessor’s office, this despite massive losses suffered by Merrill requiring $100s of billions in government assistance.

Here’s his defense:

Pete: I’m surprised you’re renovating, this is such a nice office,
Jack: It’s a great office, but sometimes you have to change things that are perfectly good just to make them your own.

Wait, sorry. That’s a scene from the pilot episode of 30 Rock.

Here’s John Thain:

(My predecessor’s) office was very different than the general decor of Merrill’s offices. It really would have been very difficult for me to use it in the form that it was in.

Amazing.

People really really love to love hating PETA, which is probably why PETA remains one of the more effective non-profits around.

In an especially tortured post yesterday, Best Week Ever’s Dan Hopper explains why he simply cannot post the lastest controversial ad from PETA, recently barred from appearing during the Super Bowl:

I didn’t want to post PETA’s REJECTED SUPER BOWL AD OMGGGG SO CONTROVERSIALLLLL!!!! because it’s obviously a calculated attempt by PETA to say “check out this commercial we made that THE MAN refused to air,” even though they clearly had no intention to actually pay for Super Bowl airtime.

Needless to say, he posted the ad.

He concludes with some impassioned non-profit existential crisis-bait:

Why does PETA still exist? This is nonsense.

But it’s easy: PETA still exists because Dan Hopper still posted that ad, even though he didn’t want to.

Don’t look now! PETA owns you.

Unsurprisingly, last week’s 81st annual Oscar announcement brought about a familiar round of nomination consternation, a routine spell of hater-itis more often geared toward redefining the boundaries of one’s own cleverness than it is about movies.

(This year’s inevitable predictions of low telecast ratings were thankfully balanced out by some relatively groundbreaking LOLCat comparison and analysis).

Anyways, here is how clever I am:

I have absolutely no idea how The Reader was able to pull in so much Oscar love. To be sure, I’m all for a Kate Winslet the Naked Nazi film in theory, and she and her uncomfortably well-endowed young German costar were seriously phenomenal in practice.

But that script was something out of an episode of Three’s Company; an entire plot boiled down to one (slightly glorified) simple misunderstanding that could have been/should have been resolved with a relatively pain-free five minute conversation.

SPOILER

Yes yes, she can’t read, so how could she have been the mastermind behind the mass slaughter of hundreds of jews in a church fire, the only evidence of which is a handwritten report. Everyone in that court room should have recognized that Kate’s naked character wasn’t responsible. I know this, because everyone in the theater was clearly yelling, “just tell Mr. Roper you’re illiterate and be done with it!”

When one of your primary conflicts is less “wow…draama” than it is “that’s fucking annoying, this issue should take, like, 5 minutes to clear up,” something’s not exactly working.

Daniel Craig is a very handsome man, a pretty good actor and a really great Bond. He also has a knack for playing real-life bad-ass jews, from an Israeli assassin in Munich to, most recently, Tuvie Bielski in Ed Zwick’s Defiance.

All of which is certainly impressive, given the extent to which Daniel Craig isn’t exactly the most jewish looking dude around is a walking manifestation of Hitler’s deviant wet dreams (he even dates hottie blonde-haired German ladies!)

Would I eat a bagel he prepared for me? Yes. Would I think twice were he to DJ my birthday party and spin Gwen Stefani’s “If I Was a Rich Girl?” more than once? Probably not.

But Daniel Craig’s compelling believability while portraying some ass-kicking jewishness is something altogether more difficult to pull off, and his ability to do so without ever rising to the level of Tom Hanks in Paul Mooney’s “Last Nigga on Earth” is a welcome testament to some impressive thespian abilities. Many kudos.

In his honor, Michelle Collins at Best Week Ever.tv has compiled a convincing list of 20 Actors More Jewish Looking Than Daniel Craig.

Obama’s speech yesterday was, as expected, great-serious-sober-inspirational, though certainly not to everyone’s taste. And of course his Presidency and policy outlook won’t be much celebrated or cheerlead by his political opponents. Which is all good, fine, and the way it all should be.

But I have to say I was surprised to see so many conservatives objecting to this line from the inaugural:

We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories.

Ramesh Ponnuru labels it a “real clunker,” as Jonah Goldberg helpfully remarks:

Why not distill energy from our strategic unicorn manure stockpile?

I have to say I don’t really follow the bizarre sarcasm, given these plainly true equations:

Barack has welcomed contributions and policy proposals from all Americans, liberals and conservatives alike, which is a great and serious invitation.

But for all the talk of unity, post-partisanship and the putting aside of petty grievances, it’s hard to take seriously the contributions of those who do not take seriously the role of the sun.

Don’t fuck with the sun; motherfucker will buurrrnn you.

Now clearly the National Review isn’t the best place for existential ruminations on hip hop*, but NRO writer Mark Hemingway gave it a whirl this afternoon, arguing that the inauguration of Barack Obama represents the end of hip hop culture:

Well, here’s one small anecdote that suggests the era of hip-hop might be ending and the age of Obama might be beginning. The streets around the Capitol right now are swamped with Obama T-shirt and tchotchke vendors. One of them was selling this poster of Obama leading a posse of civil rights icons:

As I paused to take in the poster, a black woman in front of me stopped, took one look at the poster and blurted out, “Now, what the hell is Tupac [far left] doing on there?”

And here is the poster in question:

As far as I can spot, in addition to Tupac, the poster also includes Muhammad Ali and Bob Marley. (Wondering if Obama marks the end of boxing culture, as well? Rastafarianism?)

But to Hemingway’s point…seriously? I suppose, when you define hip hop culture as encompassing, and only encompassing, fatherlessness and mysogony, then, yeah, sure, the rise of Obama and the Obama family as role models may (hopefully) promote an end to those unpleasant things.

But…that’s not hip hop culture. As far as I know, as far as I’ve seen it to be…

Is hip hop to blame for a pudgy white dude’s (totally pudgy) misconception of hip hop as nothing more than the promotion of disfunctional black families? I don’t know, but I don’t think so.

Nevertheless, and beyond stupidity at The Corner, watching hip hop digest Barack Obama over the next four-to-eight years is going to be big.

* (Imagining Bill Buckley breaking down Luda and American Gangster gives a certain thrill)

The Onion AV Club labors through a 12-month bounty of demos, press releases and gig announcements, all to tabulate a very-solid year-end list of terrible terrible band names.

Some good stuff, though I have to quibble a bit, because E=MC Hammer is an absolutely amazing band name. Their MySpace band description is even better:

2 Gentlemen from the city of milwaukee making music thats at the same time retarded, annoying, and great.

Annoying, retarded and great.

Please Albert don’t hurt ‘em